pilihan~

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

new year is coming very shortly
and i'm short of idea to write in this blog
well, here's a poem to be shared with you... regarding our choices in this life

The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.	20

Robert Frost (1874-1963). Mountain Interval 1920

haha...takde motif pun sebenarnya :)
we always make choices in this life... and for either choice my decided to hold to, we must move on
and of course, to Allah we rely on...


"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagi kamu, dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, sedangkan ia amat buruk bagi kamu. Allah mengetahui, sedangkan kamu tak tahu" [QS 2:216]


so...
actually, i'm having problem on deciding on which university should i apply for my UCAS...
even worst, i've not decided what course to choose for my degree (Chemical/Mechanical/computer...)
friends, i need your help~
please help me!

Jalan yg masih panjang...

wasalam

ukhwah ini...

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Sebnarnya tajuk asal patut "happy new year", tp tak perlu lah kot
Rasanya lebih baik bercerita dulu, kisah dalam seminggu yang lepas
Walaupun tak ada apa2 yg menarik di kmb selama beberapa hari, tapi tetap banyak ibrah yg bermanfaat untuk diri ini
(so satu lg label akan ditambah kat blog ni - back in those days...)
Gaya bahasa: diari-type. agak membosankan lah untuk dibaca. tak payah baca pun takpe...

Saat-saat ditinggalkan


KHAMIS - selepas tamat exam, pelajar2 kmb bergegas pulang ke rumah masing2. Naik bas, naik flight, naik kereta. Saya yang masih di kmb berlegar di bilik guru, menyelesaikan apa-apa yang patut (seperti dalam post sebelum ni). Malam tu, kmb masih ceria dan meriah dengan penduduk2nya; bermain-main ping pong dan DoTA yg memang tak pernah habis akan dimain. Mahu melepaskan tekanan exam, kononnya. Malam tu saya lepak2 dengan Fiszi, berkongsi lagu2 (dan internet)

"aku perlukan lagu2 semangat untuk menghadapi hari-hari koyak ni..." saya bergurau.

JUMAAT - bangun 5.30pg, kelihatan beberapa orang masih lagi bermain ping pong. Saya tercengang.

"diorang ni tak berhenti dari semalam ke?" fikirku sendirian.

Entah la. Dah azan pun main lagi. Merugikan masa sungguh. Pergi solat, baca surah sajadah, tak ingat 2 ayat terakhir. Fikiran bercelaru. Faiq cuba beberapa kali ingatkan, tapi tak ingat jugak.

Lepas sarapan, Azhar ajak main ping pong. Pertama kali sentuh ping pong. Seronok jugak lah. terlupa sikit fikiran yg bercelaru. Pukul 10pg, dia bertolak balik.

Hari jumaat tu ko-op tak bukak, tak tahu nak pegi mana bila dah bosan. Nampak muka yang ada kat kmb semua yang tak patut ada kat sini, yang patut ada tak nampak pulak. Zubir yang patutnya berehat kat rumah tiba-tiba ada kat sini. Pelik betul.

Lepas solat jumaat, kepala pening. PGL (Pelajar gunung Ledang) dah bersedia untuk bertolak (walaupun akhirnya pukul 6 jugak diorang bertolak). Pelajar year 1 yang pergi Kulim pun dah bertolak. Mula sedikit rasa sayu. Melihat kawan2 pergi meninggalkan diri. Trima kasih kepda Apip yg datang ke kmb sekejap dan mempelawa saya keluar. Saya menolak sebab kepala dah pening.

Malam tu, tidur kat surau. Sorang-sorang. Inagtkan ada orang nak join skali tapi tak rupanya. Pukul 10 dah lelap sebab DS tak bukak untuk supper. Harapan amat tinggi nak bangun untuk tahajud.

" dah tinggal seorang ni, siapa lagi nak mengadu nasib..." saya menyedapkan diri sendiri.

Kesunyian bagaikan....

SABTU - bangun hampir pukul 6. Dipandang sekeliling - gelap. Wudhuk ,azan, solat sunat pastu baca al-quran. Sampai 6.20pg, tak ada orang datang. bersolat lah berseorang dalam keheningan pagi tu.

Hari tu, ramai yang keluar bandar. PGL kedua pun dah bertolak. Sunyinya kmb macam... Allah sajalah yang tahu. Samalah kesunyian kat hati ini. Mulalah teringat pada sahabat2, saudara, ikhwah sekalian. Terutamanya yang sedang berjaulah di utara tanah air waktu tu.

"Mesti diorang tgh berseronok sekarang dekat utara sana" saya bermonolog.

Dalam 3 hari ini, Extended essay, punca saya berada di sini, langsung tak disentuh. Kepala pening ditambah dengan emosi yang tak terkawal. Kebanyakan masa dihabiskan dengan tidur di bilik.

Malam tu, saya lepak di bilik je. Yelah, tidur surau pun tak bangun tahajud jugak. Pasang internet, chatting skit dengan member nak hilangkan kesunyian. Terasa betapa signifikannya sahabat-sahabat dalam hidup ini pada waktu tu.

pulihnya semangat

AHAD - subuh kali ni ramai orang. sebabnya, budak2 fish for life nak bertolak pagi tu. ditinggalkan lagi... Hari ini Sobri keluar lagi, pgi cyber cafe bukak internet. Dah ditwarkan internet smalam, tapi entahlah, dia lupa kot. Malam tu, Sobri nak pinjam laptop, saya pun bagilah. Masa tu rasa macam betapa tak bersyukurnya saya, laptop ada tapi kerja tak jalan.

ISNIN - lupakan bhgn subuh, kami pelajar kmb yg ada lg pergi ke LRC untuk siapkan EE masing-masing. Syamil dah siap, jadi dia hantar dan terus pulang. Memang menaikkan semangat, tp tak cukup lg. Online di facebook, nampaknya hari ni harjadi seorang yg istimewa.

"Mesti dia masih lg berjalan-jalan, tak perlu wish lg lah. Orang pun dah ramai wish, tak special la pulak aku wish aku nanti." saya fikir.

Hari ini berjalan dengan baik. Walaupun sudah mula mendapat fokus, tapi masih belum sepenuhnya. Masih teringat dengan sehabat-sahabat yang memenuhi ruang legar yahoo Messenger ketika itu. Sobri pula mencatatkan progress EE nya di facebook, hampir setiap peratus peningkatan dicatatkan. Kelakar betul.

Malamnya, selepas Sobri siap menggunakan laptop, saya berazam untuk menyiapkan EE, dan balik!

SELASA - Subuh sekali lg kosong. Saya azan pada 6.05 pg (dah lewat dah tu). Hanya seorang pakcik ni datang. Kalau tak silap, dia ni cikgu yang Fazli berborak hari tu. Kami solat dan lepas tu berbual sikit. Antara ayat yang terkeluar daripada mulutnya:

"dalam berbelas orang ni, seorang je yg datang surau? (rujuk kpd 'tahanan' EE). isy2. Macamana Islam nak menang? Kekuatan takde!"

Saya agak terkesima. Dengan wajah yang belum mandi tu, saya mengganguk je lah.

LRC semakin lenggang. Sebelah pg, Hanis, Pidot dan beberapa orang lg dah balik. Dipendekkan cerita, saya berjaya menyiapkan EE itu sampai tahap yang saya puas hati. Saya hantar EE pukul 4.30ptg, solat dan terus menuju ke bilik. Cuaca yang mendung merisaukan saya untuk balik pada ptg tu. Farzan yg muncul entah dari mana, memanggil saya, sebaik shj saya tiba di blok. Dengan kemunculannya yg tak semena-mena tu, bolehlah saya tumpang dia...alhamdulillah

Saya pun balik lah....ke rumah Amin di Rawang. Tumpang semalam. Lepas kerinduan walaupun dia seorang je. Seronok dgr dia bercerita tentang jaulah di utara... (walaupun saya mcam tak tunjuk reaksi sgt)

esoknya pulak, jumpa Zubir untuk bg log book dia. Lepas lg kerinduan. Syukur byk2. Tenang rasanya hati, pulang ke Kuantan pun dengan happy walaupun terpaksa berpisah lg....

Sepanjang duduk di kmb tu, memang persahabatan dan ukhwah menjadi pemangkin. Semua nama rakan2 yg telah disebutkan, juga yg tak tersebut, saya tak sia-siakan lg seperti mana beberapa tahun yang lepas.......

"Sesungguhnya Engkau tahu bahawa hati2 ini telah bersatu,

berhimpun di bawah naugan cintaMu..."

sneak-peaks after exam

Saturday, December 12, 2009

It has been 2 whole days since semester 3 examination ended. there's still quite a number students here in kmb, not going back to home yet.
well,just a little number of them. Wait, i mean "us". huhu :p

One of them asked me: "eh kalau tak dak orang buat solat jemaah, berdosa la kan?"
I nodded and replied: "eh mesti la, fardu kifayah. kita yg ada kat sini kena la wat, lain la hang dok sini sorang2..."
he responded: "bahaya gak eh..."

that's make me wonder, he is right. TRUEly right. this is "bahaya". with only a number of left-out detentents here, we can rely on nobody except ourselves to fulfill the job and to Allah we depend on.

the same goes to da'wah and tarbiyah. kedua-dua perkara ini fardhu kifayah, yang mana kalau orang dah habis buat baru lepas. Bukan stakat ada orang yang buat, tp kena selesai tugas tu barulah dikira lepas tanggungjawab. So, when we speak of "menyampaikan' and "memberitahu"...

IS IT SETTLED NOWADAYS?
IS NOW EVERYBODY IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD HAS UNDERSTAND ISLAM?
IS THERE ANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ISLAM?

that's where we play our role. this responsibility of "menyampaikan" and "memberitahu" will never end till "ya'ti amrullah". Datangnya ketentuan Allah. And this is not a play-play matter ya' know...


.....................


but wait, it's not the thing that i want to post now.
Here it is. Just want to share a little story of me wondering around the staff room after exam.
A happy one, since I'm very lonely here....huhu :(

A day before the last exam day, I met Pn. Mazlina at the Warden's office. No, Fellow office I mean. (fellow? a little awkward with that new term)
Broak-borak sikit...amir asraf was there too. some of the conversation are:

Pn. Mazlina:   Fahmi, you makan itik?
Me :   (Apakah..?) Err... tak,tak cikgu.
Amir:   Dia orang bandar cikgu.. Cikgu, exam esok doakan kitaorang ek...(tomorrows'exam is chemistry)
Pn. Mazlina:   ha...yelah. Sya doakan dari awan biru... (tergelak). You tanyalah friend you what will come out tomorrow ek...
Amir:   yelah ckgu. terima kasih...

After exam, around 2.30pm. I went up 2 the language department and met tchr Nora.

Tcher Nora :   you want your money right? Or you don't want it...
Me:   (nodded) yup techer.
Tcher Nora:   here it is: (3 notes of rm30 & 5 notes of rm10)
Me:   (smilling) eh...kenapa 10-10 teacher?
Tcher Nora :   dah dia kluar 10-10... biarlah. 10-10 lg senang kan? knpa? or you dont want it?
Me:   Eh... nak2 techer. tq teacher.
Tcher Nora:   Allright. Fahmi, you have to stay back kan?
Me:   (alamak...) err... yes...
Tcher Nora:   ha...tak buat EE ye...
Me:   bukan tak buat teacher, tp tak siap je...
Tcher Nora:   so when will you go back?
Me :   Wednesday kot...
Tcher Nora:   o... eh, kenapa tu? ulcer ke? teruknya... don't you put any medication?
Me:   ...no..none... dah nak elok pun. last week kena.
Tcher Nora:   bubuh la garam... (tergelak)
Me:   no (never!)...ahaha. tq teacher...


then, i went to cikgu Roslinda's.

Me:   Err...cikgu, world lit ada?
Cikgu Linda:   takde lah. tahun depan lah...
Me:   ooo....ok.
Cikgu Linda:   Fahmi kena tinggal sini kan cuti ni?
Me:   (alamak...skali lg) Aah cikgu...
Cikgu Linda:   hemm.. (nada sinis)Buat ee apa? Chem?
Me:   Math cikgu.
Cikgu Linda:   o math... masalah data la ni...?
Me:   (nodded) camtulah cikgu
Cikgu Linda:   buat elok2...


Out form language department. off to maths'!
Met my ee advisor, Pn. Arniliza. I borrowed her phone for a while to check is my letter has arrived to where it belong. Then,


Tchr Arni:   Fahmi... when we talk to a stranger, introduce yourself first... Nak jadi engineer kan!?
Me:   ...er...sya ada ulcer ckgu...
Tchr Arni:   ada ja alasan dia! mcam mana? dia cakap apa?
...After some talkings about ee & portfolio & exam stuff...
Tchr Arni:   ok, ada masalah message tchr. good luck doing your ee ya...make sure you do it!
Me:   tq banyak2 teacher...

Just i about to stepped out, Ckigu Siti approaches, glared at me, and ... suddenly...(unsur saspens)

Cikgu Siti:   FAHMI! Engkau cakap exam "ok kot"....! Tak ok pun!
Me:   (flabergasteeeeedd...:0) aaaaa....ye ke cikgu?
Cikgu Siti:   YE LAH! Mai sini tgk tak percaya!
I entered her room...
She showed me one by one at which my mistakes are...carelessness, actually. All of them.
Cikgu Siti:   Knapa ni Fahmi? Letih la cikgu... hai.. (she is smiling!)
Me:   adui...careless semua cikgu...
Cikgu Siti:   eleh careless...abis exam IB nanti nak bagitau kat examiner "alah...careless je tu"? camtu? Hai...cikgu tak faham la Fahmi...
Me:   (bravely responded) hati gelap ni cikgu.... ahaha...:p
Cikgu Siti:   (tergelak) abis hati gelap tu nak salahkan siapa Fahmi oi...abis camne nak buat ni Fahmi? banyak markah hilang ni...
Me:   lain kali saya guna pen besar sikit kot...pen kecik sangat kot tu...
At the same time, Apip appeared out of nowhere.
Cikgu Siti:   tgk ni! (looking at Apip) ada je nak disalahkan...pen lah ,kertas lah...diri sendiri tu tak pernah nak disalahkan! (still smiling)
Then she tuned her attention to Apip. Selamat...!
Me:   ...thank you teacher... 

and i stepped out from the room...
Frusterated I am! I expect maths to be...argh!
...but let gone be gone...what's important now is...ee!

that's about it. My little story after the exam. Here's something for me to ponder:
1) (for the first part): of course, da'wah will always be our business. Cannot help it.
2) How fortunate of me to get such caring, lovely teachers....(my classmates, if you read this, please fell the same too) They are more than just a teacher, but also a parent. To relate it with me, I have to take them as an example... in conducting my usrah.

Sebagai naqib, kita bukan sahaja perlu menjadi naqib, tp juga kawan baik, bapa dan cikgu kepada anak2 usrah... and then, tarbiyah will be effective to them....

that's all. sorry for any mistakes. Just a reminder to you and me.
Wallahu a'lam
Wasalam

partition

Sunday, December 6, 2009

english examination has just ended

so i'm will write in malay... maybe not

i've get used to write in english, although my  grammar are hurrendous

wait, hurrendous seems to be very harsh

maybe chaotic should be okay

in a way, write in english really helps me a lot to use when i'm using it

although this has nothing to do with the increasing frequency of posts in my blog

 but when it comes to explain, i'll still use malay

if not misintrepetation will definately occur

opps, long muqadimah

nak cakap skit sebnarnya, hakikat kejayaan yg Allah bagi tu:

success is for those who work hard. that is how it is. sunnatullah

itulah sifat ar-rahman daripada Allah, untuk sume orang, bukan mukmin shj

tp satu lg sifat Allah ni iaitu ar-rahim, untuk orang mukmin je

dibagi masa dunia dan juga akhirat

the question is, kenapa orang muslim sekarang mundur.

bukan hanya dipandang mundur tetapi memang MUNDUR pun.

adakah kita tak berusaha?

sedangkan kita bukan je dapat sifat ar-rahman tapi ar-rahim skali

Allah kata dalam Quran:

... maka Patutkah kamu hanya percaya kepada sebahagian (dari isi) Kitab (Taurat) dan mengingkari akan sebahagian Yang lain? maka tiadalah balasan bagi orang Yang berbuat demikian itu dari antara kamu, selain dari kehinaan ketika hidup di dunia, dan pada hari kiamat akan ditolak mereka ke Dalam azab seksa Yang amat berat [QS 2:85]

inilah puncanya: MENGAMBIL ISLAM SEPARUH-SEPARUH. juziah.

tak mengamalkan islam secara sepenuhnya seperti kata Allah [ QS 2:208]

maka kata Allah: mereka mendapat KEHINAAN Di DUNIA...

ayat atas ni ditujukan untuk bani israil yg percaya kpd sbahagian taurat dan tidak yg lain

dan siapa yg berbuat mcacm tu: muslim sekarang

Habis bercampur perkara hak dan batil!

cth : time kahwin, hal pusaka, urus jenazah barulah nak ikut cara Islam

sedangkan solat tak jaga, aurat tak tutup...

cth lagi: belajar duduk dekat-dekat lelaki perempuan, tak jaga ikhtilat

tp solat hajat memanjang je

cth lg skali: "untuk memberkati majlis, kita mulakan dengan dgn doa..."

padahal majlisnya konsert smpai tgh malam

mka bagi mereka ni, dpatlah KEHINAAN di DUNIA...

punca terbesar kemunduran Islam sekarang

peringatan untuk diri sendiri gak

waallahu a'lam

wasalam

( i really hope I can write such post in english soon...)

interesting happenings

there's quite a number of interesting happenings during last weekend
i'd say they're weird, though
well, here's some of them

1) overslept? I've not heard that word since ages! well, not really. at least i've enjoyed the comfort and luxury of the word for the last two semesters. But not this sem. NEVER.
Never had the chance to, actually

Here's the story. last friday, i woke up and whoa, it's already 6.20am! After some annoying yet horrifying sound come from the ceiling around 5, it seems that i slept like a baby. surprisingly, i continue on sleeping after subuh, as if no class on that day. indeed. there's no class on that day, but exam there is. ITGS exam. well, hello? ITGS is the second hardest subject to score, and i kept on loafing around on the bed. I wonder what has got into me that morning.

the next morning, i slept at the surau. Harap-harap la dapat bangun untk tahajud. Unfortunately, i woke up during azan subuh. miss one precious night. takpe lah, takde orang kot nak kejut.

next morning, even worst. with some of my best friends, we slept till 6 at surau. NYENYAK! sorang pun tak bangun.... weird.

2) lately, everybody seems to talk about their 'special' friend. well, ALMOST everybody. and i don't understand at all. seriously. its exam week, and lots of assignments to be done. no time for some jiwang-koyak stories. huh, whatever. quite sick of it. just pretend to not knowing anything.

3) recently, sejadah2 pun dah penuhkan saf kat surau ni. yup, SEJADAH. this is interesting. Very interesting.
boleh tgk kat sini. surau has been quiet all this time, till the sejadah's take over. Tu la, sape suruh tak datang surau...

4) ... i don't think i can remember this one.... huh. suddenly i've lost everything i want to share...

well just proceed with my lab reports then... :)
until next time~

what the ...?

Friday, December 4, 2009

it has been a while since I last write in english

and guess what? it will be an english exam coming this monday

well just to practice mine, i intended to write english for quite a time

but what i hate the most when writng in english, many of weird, harsh words just emerge out of nowhere

anyway, just ignore it

last night, i surfed around the internet

reading blogs, updating facebook, downloading videos...

and i met (virtually) this boy, ex-junior of mine

he's such a genius. superb in english & japanese. IT savy too

and it seems that, huh, i've been left waaaaaaay back than him

if i can play basketball again with him...

missed those times... at school...

(kind of nostalgic i am, whatever...)

I hope i can meet them again, my juniors

miss those panoramas

lately, i've a lot to think

with my loaded assignments.... exams, placements and unsettled CAS

but it seems that none of them really concerns me

if not, i wouldn't be here blogging haha

i dont know why this is happening, but is it a problem?

some people are going haywire out there

well, i don't know... it is only a matter of time

just wait and see what happen next